Cacthing Feelings

A weird feeling,

It's not uneasy-

But it's a little eerie.

Being afraid of what will happen

If I let this be

Not sure if I should stay or run.

A good feeling that I can finally open up,

About the past that keeps haunting me

But being too scared that I'll be left alone

Just like before.

Getting the butterflies

That I thought was long gone

Feeling the warmth of my heart again,

After being frozen for a long time

Being so confused whether this is right,

Or just a temporary feeling.

Being unsure whether this will work out,

Or will end up as tragedy...

#RAR

Her heart won...

 “Wait!” he called out. “Can’t you turn around and look at me?”

She stopped in her tracks and looked back. He took a step closer and reached for her hand, but she jerked away. For a second, he thought that a hard slap would land on his cheek. He was wrong in fact, he was wrong about her the whole time because he never made an attempt to get to know her; he never studied her very soul, let alone her reactions. She would never lift a hand against anyone.

She just stood there, her mouth clamped shut. She didn’t have to say anything; one look in her eyes told him everything. He could see the eyes, that usually resembled a night sky, turn into a dark sea. They were now filled with anger, disappointment, and other difficult emotions.

“I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. I know I haven’t loved you the way I should have, but please, give me another chance to make it right.” He begged.

His mouth tasted like wine, but it was a poison. He constantly said hurtful things to her, which left an emotional wound on her, and he would always find a way to heal it. She admitted that it was hard to be with him, but it was even harder to be without him.

There was a tug of war between what her mind wanted her to do and how her heart wanted her to feel. The mind told her to stop loving him, but the heart refused to do it. Once a winner, always a winner and yet again, her heart won....

....

http://youtu.be/imGaOIm5HOk

.................


Lo coba klik link itu. Bukan bokep kok, hahaha. That's a song without lyrics but..... heart touching abis. Tau yiruma kan? Ga tau mah ga gaul amat. Ini pemain piano dari korea yang bikin lagu-lagu tanpa lirik tapi bener-bener deh nyentuh hati abis.

Nah.
Gara-gara lagu ini ke shuffle di handphone gue, gue jadi nulis blog deh malem ini. 

Hmm.. Kenapa judulnya kosong? Soalnya gue lagi kosong. Gatau apa yang bener-bener ada di pikiran sama hati gue sekarang. Pernah ga lo kaya gini? Kaya terlalu banyak yang terjadi, terus lo pikir, terus tiba-tiba lo ngerasa kosong. Kaya lo udah ngelaluin semuanya, at the end you've got nothing.

Sebelum tidur, lo pasti ga langsung tidur kan? Ga tau cuma gue doang atau lo mungkin beberapa ada yang sama kaya gue. Gue sebelum tidur, pasti ga langsung tidur, doa dulu kan ya, baru deh gue rebahan tuh, liat langit-langit kamar, terus mikirin apa yang udah terjadi sama gue hari ini. Baru gue tidur.

Nah, tadi sebenernya gue mau tidur. Terus, gue mikirin apa yang udah terjadi sama gue lately. All of sudden gue ngerasa kaya... kosong. Mana ujan, lagunya kiss the rain, gue sendirian di rumah, ya ampun. Suasana yang pas buat bunuh diri. hahahaha. canda. garing ya? huhuhu. maksud gue sih suasana yang pas buat think about our life, what's happening lately, what will you do, what do you feel, etc. Ada saatnya buat kita mikirin kita sendiri, contohnya saat-saat kaya gini. Mungkin kita kebanyakan mikir tentang hubungan kita sama orang lain, atau kita bantuin masalah orang lain, sampe kita lupa sebenernya what's going on with ourselves.

Lo pernah ga sih ngerasa kaya, saking banyak yang udah lo laluin menjelang akhir tahun ini, lo ngerasa gatau apa yang sebenernya apa yang ada di pikiran sama hati lo?

Ini yang lagi gue rasain. Gatau kenapa tiba-tiba. Mungkin karna overthinking kali ya. Saat lo overthinking sama semuanya, lo jadi ngeada-adain yang ga ada.Jadi makin kacau deh semuanya. Aturan ga kenapa-kenapa, jadi kenapa-kenapa. 

Nah.
Jadi intinya saat ini, moodnya lagi so blue. hahaha.
Get well soon for my mood and everybody who has this kind of mood.

#RAR